Leave your past where it began

My life was spiraling out of control. Although nobody can see it from the outside. I felt constant emotional and mental pain. I would cry at night after a day of spending time with so-called friends in which I smiled and laughed, but inside I wanted to run from the life I was living. I wasn't truly happy; I was depressed. I kept replaying in my mind the very abuse I endured and the constant reminder of how their words contiously stabbed my brain.

I didn't want to forget. I felt I had every right to not forget what was done to me. My anger was the very thing that I didn't want to let go of. I wanted to carry it around like a charm. Like a reason to show why I was a certain way. An excuse to do as I please since nobody saved me. Nobody cared. What I didn't realize at the time was that my unforgiveness was killing me. I felt as if I were a robot. There's times to where I felt like I was living in the background of my own life. Like as if I were watching a vision of myself.

One day I couldn't hold in the pain anymore. I turned to the only one I felt could rid me of my pain. When I turned to God, he heard me. He comforted me and showed me love, compassion, and mercy. None of which I felt before. If I could sit one thing on your heart today, I would say that the heaviness you feel won't go away until you release it. I know you feel tired of having to act as if you're happy, like you have it all figured, you're not sensitive, you're smart enough, like nothing gets to you.

In God, there's no acting. He heals you from the traditions of the world. He breaks through the enemy territory, he destroys chains; he removes scales of blindness and restores us back to his originial plan. He brings us into alignment with our purpose according to his will. You may have fooled your "friends," family, coworkers, classmates, and business partners like I did. But you could never fool God.

God is Omnipotent, meaning infinite power; Omniscient means all knowning; and Omnipresent means present everywhere and always.

Scripture to meditate on:

For your ways are in full view of the Lord,

and he examines all your paths.

22

The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them;

the cords of their sins hold them fast.

23

For lack of discipline they will die,

led astray by their own great folly.

Proverbs 5:21-23-NIV